I was diagnosed with cancer in July 2019. I was diagnosed with incurable, terminal, metastatic lungcancer.
Few months before diagnosis I was constantly sick: cough, flu-like symptoms, my back ached, I felt weak and had issues with my stomach. I went to a gastrologist, but nothing serious was found, only a gastritis. After working at a music festival(it was House of The Holy, in case you are interested) I have experienced problems with breathing and had a breakdown. My doctor has sent me immediately to a lung doc, he diagnosed me first with COPD and made some x-rays. Something was there in my left lung, but it didn’t look like a tumor to him. He then ordered a CT scan 1 week later. I decided to enjoy the weekend and went to another festival(this time Chaos Descends), but I have felt that something was horribly wrong with me.
A CT Scan few days later revealed it was cancer – but the doctors didn’t tell me how serious it was. No one told me first, but I could see how worried everyone was. You must know, my dad is a doctor and works in the same hospital. The way he looked at me – I knew it was bad, really bad. After being hospitalized for 3 days my final diagnosis was: incurable, terminal cancer stage IVB. Cancer has spread through my whole body: lungs, lymph nodes, one metastasis in brain, metastasis in one kidney and countless metastasis in my bones. Till today I don’t know HOW many there were. In my case, most of the cancer went into my bones.
So here I was. 45 Years old with only few months left to live. You know, they didn’t tell how much time I have left. But of course, I have googled and, I’m telling you, it didn’t look good. Like 3-6 months or so.
I then had a long talk with the Universe/Great Spirit/ God/Quantum field (insert here what suits you, you know what I’m talking about) and realized I have got a message. It asked me “do you really want to live, because you don’t act like you do”. You must know, I have a long history of serious drug addiction, but that’s another survival story you will read one day… I was a real party girl, very self-destructive.
I wanted to live (and I still do) so asked for help and prayed for live, with my whole heart. And the Universe answered… Two weeks after my diagnosis we have received a good message, there was a genetic mutation on my cancer (called ALK+) and there was a good treatment in form of pills. I was then put on targeted therapy called Alectinib. In first moment, this means nothing or everything for you. Nothing, because these ridiculous expensive therapies only work in a small number of patients and there is no guarantee they will. Everything, because if they work they are absolutely life saving. I don’t think I would have survived a conventional chemo therapy at this point. I was too weak and the toxic load on my body was too immense.
I had another long, deep talk with the Quantum field, and well… 6 weeks later, in August 2019 scans revealed the metastasis in my brain was getting smaller, I had a response to this therapy.
My next CT scan in January 2020 revealed that I had a fantastic response to the treatment and everthing else I was doing. 90% of the tumor in my lung was gone, other metastasis were dissolved. I have got and still get treatment for my bone metastasis which remain calcified and stable and are not active.
It never occurred to me to give up or to think I will be dead soon.
I don’t live like I’m dying. I live like I’m alive.
If I had one wish, it would be for everyone to experience what I have. Not the cancer, but the power of love and the desire to live life to the fullest. If I hadn’t been diagnosed with cancer, I would never have experienced and felt the love, support, and friendship that has been given to me from so many people.
Love and light,